When I’m afraid or feel out of control about a situation in my life, like if I’m caught in a conflict with someone, or I need to set a boundary I’ve been avoiding, my first instinct is to speed up and do more.
I start to move fast. I go into doing mode, and try to “figure things out” with my head. It feels frenetic.
Sometimes I can spin in that head space for hours or even days. It’s my old protective mode that I rely on to attempt to control things, so that I can feel safe, and get what I want.
But I’ve discovered that pushing harder and doing more is the exact opposite of what I need.
January started out with a thud for me. Even though I was so ready to let 2020 go, the fresh start in 2021 did little to motivate me towards setting any new goals. I was in a rut. Knowing that my early morning iPhone news reading habit which had started pre-election...
Sometimes when things in my life don’t go as I’d hoped, I find myself ruminating on it too long after the incident has passed. I mull endlessly over what I could have done differently, imagining what I would change if I could do it over, and beating myself up for my...
Humans love knowing. We feel safe when we feel certain and in control. So we create plans, structures and routines to help us know what comes next, and feel comfortable.
But right now, there’s so much that’s up in the air, so many unknowns, we can’t seem to find solid footing, and we definitely can’t get on with our plans. It’s no wonder that so many of us are having so much anxiety right now. Rather than get lost in all the what if’s, or push down the fears completely, I believe there is a healthier, calmer way to go on living amidst all of the current unpredictability. Here are my top 5 tips for living with uncertainty.
The cycle of ups and downs, good days and bad days is never ending. Wanting things to be different than the way they are, only causes more suffering. When I let go of trying to control, and instead allow what is happening to be as it is, I feel less pain. In life’s uncomfortable moments, my go to response is usually to try and DO something to make the unpleasantness go away. But if instead, I slow down and allow myself to feel it just as it is, I know I can trust my heart to tell me what it needs.
In my former work in the corporate world, I was what you might call the “go to” person on the team. As one of the earliest members of an education technology start-up, I knew a little something about everything and I thrived in this role. As we brought in new people,...