Anger is a Messenger
Young girls are taught to “be good.” Good girls are kind, patient and pretty. They’re not aggressive or bossy, and they don’t get angry. Whether that was told to us directly or it was modeled by our mothers, teachers or culture, we know in our bones that “anger is...
Untangling the Mess
I recently found my favorite gold dangley necklace and hoop earrings impossibly tangled together in a big unruly knot. After several hasty and unsuccessful attempts to free them from their bondage, I was desperate. So I tried a different approach. Instead of pulling...
Slow Power is Simple, but not Always Easy
When I’m afraid or feel out of control about a situation in my life, like if I’m caught in a conflict with someone, or I need to set a boundary I’ve been avoiding, my first instinct is to speed up and do more.
I start to move fast. I go into doing mode, and try to “figure things out” with my head. It feels frenetic.
Sometimes I can spin in that head space for hours or even days. It’s my old protective mode that I rely on to attempt to control things, so that I can feel safe, and get what I want.
But I’ve discovered that pushing harder and doing more is the exact opposite of what I need.
I was in a rut. I got out. I’ll tell you how.
January started out with a thud for me. Even though I was so ready to let 2020 go, the fresh start in 2021 did little to motivate me towards setting any new goals. I was in a rut. Knowing that my early morning iPhone news reading habit which had started pre-election...
The Wisdom of your Feelings
Sometimes when things in my life don’t go as I’d hoped, I find myself ruminating on it too long after the incident has passed. I mull endlessly over what I could have done differently, imagining what I would change if I could do it over, and beating myself up for my...
Living with Uncertainty
Humans love knowing. We feel safe when we feel certain and in control. So we create plans, structures and routines to help us know what comes next, and feel comfortable.
But right now, there’s so much that’s up in the air, so many unknowns, we can’t seem to find solid footing, and we definitely can’t get on with our plans. It’s no wonder that so many of us are having so much anxiety right now. Rather than get lost in all the what if’s, or push down the fears completely, I believe there is a healthier, calmer way to go on living amidst all of the current unpredictability. Here are my top 5 tips for living with uncertainty.